This last trip to the mall was no different for me. I set out on a mission to find a new suit for a few interviews I had coming up the next day...yea no pressure. Ten stores later I had....nothing. I mean nothing. I tried on everything and I didn't like any of it. Of course I found a million casual outfits that I just 'had to have,' but no suit. I even considered getting a jacket from one store, pants from another and the top from a third store when I realized that I was turning into a crazed person. I decided to stop for a coffee, relax, and take the pressure off that I was putting on myself. The coffee place happened to be across from Banana Republic so I decided to stop in to see what goods I could find.
As I walked in I was greeted by a cheery, "Hello! Welcome to Banana Republic." Her voice sounded a bit like the Church Lady from Saturday Night Live. That’s unfortunate, I thought to myself. I politely glanced up, muttered a small hello back and put my head back down to look through the clothes. A half a second later my brain caught up with my eyes and made me take a second look at the sales girl. Hmm, I thought. She is pretty darn tall and her shoulders look a little broad in that jacket. She had on a ton of makeup but I shrugged it off and decided that this 50 something year old women was just trying to hold onto her youth and this complex she had must only be intensified by her job at Banana Republic. She was attractive and dressed very classy. Dark wash, boot cut jeans, button down collar shirt, fitted navy blue velvet jacket. I mean she looked great! I immediately wanted to find her outfit and buy it. Sale technique achieved.
As the clothes piled up on my arm, she came over to me, I mean, she towered over me and asked if I would like her to start a dressing room for me. I looked into her pretty blue eyes and at her bright red hair and with the most monotone sounding voice and straightest face I said "Thanks" But, if she could read my mind, this is what she would have heard...oh my gosh, oh my gosh, I was right, she is a man! A man, dressed as a woman. A drag queen! Wait-at Banana Republic? This just doesn't fit their image. I mean, I think it's pretty cool and hip but I can't picture Banana Republic agreeing. I quickly contemplated the stores in the mall that I felt this image did fit. Hot Topic. Betsy Johnson. Maybe Steve Madden? Spencers for sure! I couldn't help questioning if she was interviewed and hired as a man and then showed up to work one day as a women? Or did they hire her as a cross dresser? I wonder if Banana Republic hired her to avoid HIPA laws? No overtime when she splits her work week up half man and half woman. Ok, Sydney focus, don’t make her feel uncomfortable.
I followed her back to the fitting rooms. After she hung my clothes up she said, "If you need anything my name is Andy." Ok…Andy. I mean come on! Is there a more unisex name out there then Andy?
As I tried on what felt like seven hundred and fifty outfits, liking none of them mind you, I kept thinking about Andy. I mean I’m no prude. I happen to love drag queens. I’ve seen a drag Jennifer Lopez in South Beach that would blow your mind. This chick was smoking, definitely not from Jenny’s block. I even saw a drag Britney Spears who came out in a half piece green ensemble with a snake around her neck. Heck, my bachelorette party was at Lips in Ft. Lauderdale. A restaurant, club and nightly drag show. There was just something about walking into the conservative, traditional, conventional store of Banana Republic and seeing a drag queen working there that caught me off guard.
Oh and the suit? I never found it.
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